Dave and Ann Wilson are co-founders of Kensington Community Church, a national, multi-campus church that hosts more than 14,000 attendees every weekend. For the past twenty-five years, they have been featured speakers at Family Life’s Weekend to Remember®, and have also hosted their own marriage conferences across the country.
Today on the podcast, we talk about setting our priorities straight when it comes to relationships. If your vertical relationship with God isn’t working, your horizontal relationships with others won’t either.
Welcome to episode 45 of the Young Church Leaders Podcast with Grant Vissers!
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Takeaways from the Episode
1. Both Perspectives
Dave and Ann co-wrote the book Vertical Marriage and when we say, “Co-wrote,” we mean 50/50. It’s a great book that chronicles some of the real challenges and pure joys of marriage, ministry and everything in-between. Dave and Ann gave each other license to share stories from each other’s perspectives. Now, here’s the thing. This doesn’t just apply to writing a book but also to all of marriage and relationships. You need both perspectives. You need to give each other license to share what’s going on, your perspectives, emotions, struggles, and feelings. You need to be authentic and allow each other to share the fullness of what you’re experiencing.
2. What do you do, when you don’t know what to do?
Dave and Ann share the story of their tenth anniversary where Ann told Dave that she no longer felt anything for him. What would you do? It was a defining moment in their lives. Dave talks about not knowing what to do or say in that moment but to pray and confess his sin before God. As Ann put it, it was completely unpredictable, un-foreseen and it changed everything. The reality is that all of us end up in situations where we don’t know what to do. Literally, don’t have a sweet clue what to do next. In those moments, our best bet is to consult God. What does that look like? Typically, prayer. Get some time to be with God and figure out what’s going on and what is coming next.
3. If Your Vertical Relationship with God Isn’t Working, Your Horizontal Relationships with Others Won’t Either.
God called Dave to repent from being lukewarm – not in his relationship with Ann – but in his relationship with God. When your vertical relationship with God isn’t working, your horizontal relationships with others won’t either. No matter how hard you try, unless you prioritize your relationship with God, you’ll look to find in others, what only God can provide. Ann talks openly about looking to find in horizontal relationships (with Dave) what she can only find in a healthy relationship with God.
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Join us next time on the Young Church Leaders Podcast with Grant Vissers.